


Fuck Around And Find Out

by PFDiva



Category: Dumb Kids Playing Hero (Podcast)
Genre: Couch Cuddles, Cuddling & Snuggling, Multi, Polyamory, Sharing Clothes, Trauma, the LaFontaine family curse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-03-12 11:15:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28884483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PFDiva/pseuds/PFDiva
Summary: Dante and Kel try to console Benny after a challenging mission.  He is, unsurprisingly, a little bit of a bitch about it.
Relationships: Benny LaFontaine/Dante Voight, Kel Mahoney/Benny LaFontaine, Kel Mahoney/Benny LaFontaine/Dante Voight, Kel Mahoney/Dante Voight
Comments: 10
Kudos: 6
Collections: Secret Druids of the Stones 2020 (A Standing Stones Fanwork Exchange)





	Fuck Around And Find Out

**Author's Note:**

> My prompt was some Dante/Benny/Kel and I couldn't not. I hope it's everything the prompter wanted and more. Additional notes I really took inspiration from when writing this:
> 
> “I worry about it” “I just want him to feel safe”  
> the notion: when is a monster not a monster? when you love it.  
> sharing of blankets/borrowed clothes.

When you've been friends with someone long enough, you learn when to speak and when to keep your trap shut. This was definitely one of those 'keep your trap shut' moments, Dante judged.

He was scrubbing blood out of his shirt in Kel and Ariel's kitchen sink (at Kel's direction) and listening to Benny and Kel amiably chat about something or another. Except it absolutely wasn't amiable. He could hear Benny losing his shit from here, and Kel was just...keeping him afloat.

Of course, Benny losing his shit didn't sound like Dante or even Ariel losing their shit. Benny losing his shit sounded like too-sweet tones and nothing-much conversation. It sounded like I'm-Just-Fine and How-Are-You. It sounded like too-sharp jokes and insincere apologies.

Benny briefly begged off to go to the bathroom. He thought he was leaving this apartment alone tonight. He might leave, but Dante knew where he lived and would sure as fuck follow.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Kel shifted to look at Dante, "So, how exactly are we keeping him from leaving tonight?" Dante loved them very much. Like, he already knew that, but in this moment? It occurred to him all over again.

"I could slash his tires?"

"No."

"I'd buy him new ones!"

"Still no."

"You could start crying?"

"Why would I start crying, I'm not the one who had to--"

" _I_ could start crying?"

"Do you even have tears in your tearducts? I thought it was all replaced with red bull."

Dante harumphed at Kel. Just because they were right didn't mean they had to _say_ it. After a moment of silence, he admitted, "We can't _make_ him stay if he's determined to leave."

Kel slumped against the couch with a heavy sigh, "I know. I'm just worried about..."

"About what?" asked Benny, viciously bright. He'd come out of the bathroom almost silently. He'd probably been listening to hear what they discussed when he was out of the room. Dante would have.

"My money's on you," Dante pointed out, lifting up his shirt for a look at it. Blood was out. Hell yeah. He began wringing it out in the sink.

Benny made a dismissive gesture, "I'm perfectly fine, why wouldn't I be?"

Kel tensed and even Dante knew this wasn't the time to say it. What he _did_ say was: "It was real bad, Benny. It's okay if--"

"If I'm a homicidal monster? Yeah, we're fighting a clandestine war against mind-controlling alien slugs, being a monster's The Thing We Need."

"I was gonna say it's okay if you're messed up about things, but you know what? Can't talk to whatever's going in your head right now, man, so I'm just gonna go slash your tires, because I'd rather you be pissed at me here than whatever you'd do to yourself at home with noone there to give a damn about you."

Kel interjected with a long-suffering, "No."

Dante made a frustrated gesture at Benny, "I just want him to feel safe and that went out the window, like, months ago? Mind-control alien slugs!"

Kel looked at Dante like he was an idiot.

"I meant that you've just told him the plan and he's closer to the door than you are."

Dante had not considered that fact, and it must have shown up on his face, because Benny burst out laughing.

"And Kel's sure not gonna stop me--they don't even have their cane."

A small smile cracked Kel's face too, and they levered themself to their feet, waving an imperious hand at Benny, "Help me over there." Benny, still laughing, moved to intercept Kel, taking their weight as they brought Benny over to Dante. "Dante, put the shirt down, it's fine." Dante put the shirt down as Kel pushed Benny into his arms. Benny was utterly unhelpful, still tickled pink by Dante being a dumbass.

His face was actually pink, too, when Dante reached around him to grab Kel's shirtsleeve, holding them close. Eventually Benny stopped laughing. He didn't start crying or anything dramatic like that, he just sorta tapered off, Kel's hand on his shoulder continuing to shove him into Dante's arms. Dante put his arm around Benny's waist and his chin on Benny's other shoulder and waited. Just when he was starting to get antsy, Benny sighed.

"I haven't got anything to wear to bed."

"I've got some stuff in the bottom of Kel's drawers where they don't like to reach," Dante said, "But I only wear jeans, soo…"

Kel heaved a sigh, "I have some spare cutoffs you can wear."

"Not worried I'll stretch them out?" Benny was taller than Kel, and he wasn't a _small_ guy, but Kel was rounder, especially in the hips area. There was no danger of Benny stretching out their cutoffs. They made a disgusted noise at Benny and shuffled away.

"Nevermind, Dante, let him go, I am _done_ with him."

Dante sniggered into Benny's ear and they followed Kel together, "But _Kel,_ he's just trying to be a courteous guest--"

"Keep it up, see if I ever let you in my place again."

"Ariel would let me in."

"Ariel hates you, that's why she's with team judgy on the boat."

"Too soon," taunted Benny, laughing when Kel finally made it into their room and slammed the door in both their faces. Dante laughed too, pulling Benny with him to the couch.

"They're probably changing, they'll be back with the...shorts, probably?"

"On me, they will be," Benny agreed, before flopping across the couch into Dante's lap.

"Ow!" complained Dante, adjusting Benny so there wasn't a shoulder digging into his thighs, "You're heavy _and_ pointy, how is that even fair?"

Benny huffed out a laugh and kicked his feet up on the couch. This was a shoes off at the door house, so it was just his feet in black socks propped up on the arm of the couch. They sat-slash-laid together in comfort like that for a while before Benny finally spoke.

"I don't think Adrian or Jude or even Ariel are ever gonna forgive me."

Dante made a dismissive noise, "You know that's not it at all, right?"

"Do I?"

"They'll get over it. You know they will. They just have to have a freakout first and then they'll get it. They're not like us."

"Broken? Traumatized? Ruthless?"

"I was gonna go with pragmatic, but keep it up, see if we're still friends in the morning."

Benny snorted and elbowed Dante's thigh on purpose. Dante thumped him in the shoulder in revenge, then they both settled again. Just when Dante was thinking about drifting off, Kel came back out, wearing slouchy comfy at-home clothes and carrying one of the shirts they'd absolutely stolen from Dante, some shorts, and a towel and a washcloth, all nicely folded. They dropped the pile onto Benny's stomach and dropped onto the couch on Dante's other side.

"Did I hear you two getting into a fight out here?"

"Dante is a wimp and can't handle my manly physique."

Kel snorted, "Sure thing, pal." Silence fell again, comfortable and warm. Dante was again on the verge of dozing off when Kel spoke.

"That was a rough thing you had to do, Benny."

"Yup. Gonna be fucked-up about it forever."

"Does it make it better that I think you did the right thing?"

"Not really."

"Didn't think it would. But I do."

Benny lifted one hand from the pile on top of him, then stretched to reach across Dante's lap. Kel took his hand. "My hands will never be clean. I understand Lady Hamlet so much more. Out, damned spot, indeed."

"None of our hands are clean," Dante pointed out. He got absently elbowed by Benny. "But I take your point."

Benny sighed and squeezed Kel's hand, then rolled to his feet, "I'll take that shower now, I guess."

"No spare toothbrushes," Kel informed him, "But you can use the Listerine."

"The tragedy," Benny opined, heading for the bathroom while Kel scoffed fondly at him. The door shut behind him and Kel put a hand on Dante's arm. He nodded his understanding. They'd made it happen.

After showers and some sort of food, they all ended up in Kel's bed. Dante got the bit up against the wall, and Kel took the outside, with Benny between them. It was how they usually shared Kel's bed, but the fact that it meant Benny was trapped between them was a definite benefit.

Benny leaned his back against Dante's chest, squishing him a little, but if Dante disliked getting squished, he sure wouldn't have been dating Kel. Actually, Kel was cool enough that he'd put up with a lot of shit for them, so who knew. The point was that whatever Benny was trying to do, it wasn't working because Dante was having himself a perfectly fine time.

Kel grabbed the blankets, covering the three of them and curling into Benny's chest. Benny was keeping his hands clear, but Dante could feel from the tension in his body that he wasn't comfortable. He knew what this problem was.

"You can touch them, just keep your hands in one spot as much as you can."

"What he said," Kel agreed with a mumble, "It's all pain, so just don't move around too much and it's dealable."

Benny made a discontent noise, but slowly settled his hands onto Kel, relaxing into Dante's elbow under his head. Dante gave Benny's side a reassuring pat with his free hand and closed his eyes. He wasn't going to sleep, he was just going to relax and watch over the people he loved.

He held onto that thought until he woke up with his nose in the back of Benny's neck, both of his arms falling asleep on him. At some point in the night, Benny had shifted onto his stomach and Dante had followed, wrapping his arms around his friend. He could feel Kel, warm against his shoulder and hated to move, but his arms were hurting like hell.

He shifted a bit, and Kel's breathing changed. Shit.

"Sorry," he whispered.

"S'okay," they snuffled, resettling themself against Benny as Dante moved, "Wanted to talk to you anyway."

"About?" Dante's readjustments meant that Benny was now more on top of him, and a thick arm came around his waist, trapping him in place while Benny nuzzled into Dante's hair.

"Benny. And what stress does to emotional relationships."

"You don't have to break up with me to ask Benny out," Dante grumbled, "Just don't build battlebots with him."

Kel snorted, "Fuck off."

"He'll suck at it," Dante insisted, and Benny dug his elbow into Dante's stomach.

"I could make a decent battlebot if I had Kel's help and tried."

"Fuck off," complained Dante, pushing Benny's elbow so it wasn't doing that anymore. "Also, I thought you were asleep."

"It's not my fault your partner thinks I'm hot. Ow." The last was a deadpan as Kel presumably did something unpleasant to Benny for being an ass. Dante felt it through Benny when they settled against him again.

"Wanted to get a temperature check from Dante before I said anything to you," Kel sighed. "You can say no."

"Could, don't wanna."

Kel hummed a pleased sound, "Excellent."

Dante dug his head into Benny's nose, "What am I, chopped liver?"

Benny made a displeased noise and moved his hand to rub at his nose, "Do you even like guys?"

"Not often," Dante admitted, "But you've always been on the list. You've just got so much family and work, I figured you didn't have time for anything else."

Benny's reply was bitter: "That's sure not a problem, anymore."

Dante hugged Benny tightly.

"I'm so mad at you," said Benny, frustration and tears in his voice, "If you'd just fucking followed the plan, you'd have been there and I wouldn't have had to make the choice, you'd have done it for me."

None of them pointed out that if Dante had followed the plan, Ariel and Adrian would probably be dead or yeerked. None of them pointed out that Dante still would have looked to Benny for his acceptance of the necessary cost. Benny knew that, but if anybody was allowed to be unfair right now, it was him. Dante just held Benny closer and agreed.

"Damn straight."

When Benny's tears finally subsided, Dante reached to Kel's bedside table and got him a tissue, which he blew his nose on a lot. Eventually, the three of them got settled again and Benny primly informed them both.

"This doesn't mean I like either of you."

Kel snorted and Dante thumped Benny's shoulder, making him laugh again.

"When it's safe, you can take us both on a date with all your stolen money, Dante," Benny sighed, and Dante rumpled his hair.

"Yeah, I can do that."


End file.
